Crazy times, lately. Girl troubles, guess it happens when you make friends of the opposite sex a lot. I didn't like the way a recent friendship came and went because of misunderstandings I didn't see happening until they were thrown in my face. This is why I prefer knowing a small number of people over a horde of strangers I can't read. Depressing and hurtful as the experience has been, it's something I'll get past. I just have to remind myself that I can't save everything I encounter and that trying risks going like this.

And in the wake of one failed friendship, something amazing has begun between myself and somebody I never would have expected to harbor feelings for me. I've kept fairly quiet about it since it began because I wasn't sure where it was headed for a while, or what it would ultimately become, but now I know what it will be I can feel a sensation I haven't experienced in a very long time. A lot of sensations, really, but a flowery rant about it feels like it would cheapen it so I'll just say I'm overwhelmed in good ways.

And as I've been swept away by my feelings before I had the ability to really react, I've reassessed my life and what's worth keeping. And, as the lyrics I often quote suggest.. with a breath of kindness, I'll blow the rest away. That's a little cryptic, but it'll explain itself in time for some, and that's enough for me right now. I've been planning to phase certain things out as I incorporate others, and now I have the drive I need to do so.

Anyway, I have a photoshoot in two days, my first of two with the second in the spring. I'm apprehensive, but excited. If nothing else, the excercise I've been doing to get ready has left me with my body looking better than it ever has. But even if it doesn't work out, I've been given a place to belong after searching for one for a long time without success. I'll be happy with my future, regardless of what becomes of my ambitions. As long as I'm able to keep what I've found, I'll be happy  (the ice storms around here may force a rescheduling of the first shoot anyway).